Taking a quick break to capture some of the special moments of the past few days. We are on vacation with Jeremy's family for a few days on the Oregon coast. It's been a special time, full of sweet moments especially as Levi interacts with his Grandparents and Auntie who have a mutual appreciation society going on.
Watching the sunrise and sunsets from our condo the past few days I am reminded that each day is a gift. That we do not have a guarantee that we will see tomorrow and I want to cherish each and every moment of life to the full.
This intentional appreciation has been difficult in the past couple of months. The nausea of this pregnancy has faded but the complete and sometimes painful exhaustion remains, with only a few days of reprieve so far. My husband is amazing and for him I am truly thankful - when he is home in the mornings, evenings and on the weekends he does more than his share of the parenting and household chores but the tiredness has made my days drag, and time with Levi less enjoyable than I desire. Watching him this weekend with our family has been a joy as I have watched him be so loved on and laugh so hard as he is so completely enjoyed but it also makes me sad that I have not worked harder to ensure more of his days have been like that when its just him and I.
And being here, watching him embrace every chance to play and explore (to the point of wearing himself out totally by the end of the day!) I am reminded we don't know how many days have been written for him either. This is not to be a morbid thought, it's simply a reality, and I simply don't want to waste the days we have. He sees every new morning as a time to be joyful and thankful; a time to have adventures and learn new things and I want to be more like him.
With Levi sleeping so well at night these days, my evenings have become a time of more predictable space and I need to work a devotion or Bible Study in. I have let these evening hours be absorbed by the TV and "relaxing" but I have not felt more relaxed so I am hoping that being more intentional with this time can bring some true peace and rest to this tired Mama.
I have a Bible verse copied out onto my fridge (which is at home and of course my internet searches here have come up blank but I will include it when I find it!) which says, my interpretation, that the effort you put into life will be returned to you in equal measure. I enjoy this constant reminder to more fully give myself to those around me, my husband and son especially. God is watching my actions, he sees the effort I put in. There is grace to cover when my body fails me but when I chose to be lazy he see that too.
The past few days have been beautiful. I have had time to nap during the day and had opportunities to be fully and completely present with Levi and with our family. Here are just a few of the precious memories I don't want to forget.
* How you overcame your fear to gleefully splash in the waves at the beach, eyes closed, body bent over just hitting the water with both hands with all your might and giggling.
* How you loved to dig the sand and dump it on top of your head :)
* How you love to snuggle with Grandma to read stories or play the game on her phone with such concentration.
* How you laughed when Auntie put the cola box on your head - for a few minutes and then flatly refused to let us do it again. You are not a performing monkey.
* How you love to copy Grandpa by getting the tall broom out of the closet and going out to the deck and sweeping for ages!!
* How you loved to make faces against the glass in the door.
* How you are always so happy to see Mable the dog and even try to say her name!
* How you have slept in the pack and play in our room and how I have heard your sweet gentle snores anytime I have woken up at night.
* How you are so intent on chasing the seagulls :) (see below!)
Thank you little man for being the vessel God chose to use today to remind me to embrace every opportunity to really live. I love your passionate spirit and I can't wait to see where it takes you!